My Favorite Meditation App

Meditation has become a huge part of my self-care. I’ve tried a few meditation apps but this one is a better fit for me and I just wanted to share with you all.

It’s called “Eternal Sunshine.” I like this app so much that I allow the affirmation notifications to come to my phone (if you know me, then you know that I am NOT a notification type of girl because of the distraction it can cause) However, I genuinely enjoy receiving the notifications because they’re always so positive and uplifting.

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Be sure to download the app for yourself and start enjoying all the life-changing benefits this app has to offer. Morning mindfulness is my fav section. Once you download the app let me know how much you like it. Follow me on Instagram @ParisHatcher and send me a DM 😉

 

 

Making A Decision

A few weeks ago, I woke up on a Saturday morning just wanting to do something other than sitting in the coffee shop on the computer catching up on work. I laid in bed thinking what would a perfect Saturday look like for me. As I pondered on it, I thought about the beach but needed to call on someone who would want to join me in my spontaneity and immediately,  two of my good girlfriends popped up in my head. One couldn’t make it but the other was free. So off to the beach we went!! Now, this is a Saturday during the summertime where everyone and their momma seems to have the same exact thought like me so traffic was crazy and it took us longer than usual to get there but never the less, we made it. When we arrived, I had a simple thought like, “what if we would’ve decided to turn around just because it’d have taken us longer to get here.” #1 I would’ve felt as if we did all this preparing to go for nothing and #2 I would’ve been sad because still, we did all this preparing for nothing…just to turn around and go back home. (thankfully, that didn’t happen) Which makes me think about life in general and how you’re always one decision away from a better life.

Often times, we hold ourselves back from doing what’s needed in order for us to get to the next level for many different reasons: such as fear and uncertainty just to name a few. It’s important for us to just decide and act upon our decisions. For some, it may be going back to school, starting a blog, saving money or working out whatever that looks like for you, we must decide that we want better and then move into that direction. However, it’s always easier said than done because it takes work and the work doesn’t always mean hard work, sometimes, it’s just consistency simply being consistent with putting in work towards your dreams. Therefore, having direction and clear goals written down, along with action steps, makes accomplishing our goals easier to achieve.

I am at a stage in my life where I am focused on some bigger goals and it seems as if I’m being distracted by all kinds of small things. Lately, I’ve been praying on my focus because the enemy has a way of using things and people to get in the way of what you’re called to do. Thankfully, I am a wise woman and I know what a distraction looks like so I’ll continue to make the decision to stay focused on my goals. No distraction formed against me shall prosper, lol!

 

 

F U $

As a woman, I naturally want to dedicate this post to women but I believe it resonates with both men and women so I won’t be biased and talk directly to us.

I want to talk about the importance of having F U $. Of course, you heard of this but probably not in this way. You probably heard someone say “save for a rainy day or just have a savings.” So if the title bothers you, just insert a phrase you’re comfortable with but today on PMH.com this is what we’re sticking with! Okay?! So, now that we got that out of the way, let’s get on to the good stuff!

It’s so important to have F U $ because let’s be honest life happens and when it happens, you want to make sure it’s something you’re comfortable with facing. Just a little back-story as to what made me talk about this on today. Last week I took myself on a date to a very classy restaurant just me and my journals and the table next to me was talking loud enough that I could hear their entire conversation although it wasn’t that interesting, one thing that was said really made me listen harder. Two sisters and one of the sister’s husband was dining in and talking about a lady named Rachel. I overheard one of the sister’s say, “Rachel doesn’t know what’s going on financially, and her husband works and pays all the bills.” I immediately said to myself, “Oh Rachel GIRL!” now no judgment against Rachel at all because I grew up in the same type of household but I believe in THIS day and age you should at least know what’s going on financially. What if something happens to Rachel’s husband and he’s unable to work? I’ll paint the picture that Rachel’s husband has a 401k or some type of retirement account so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that it’s something they could live off of until he either finds another job, or he’s well enough to go back to his old job but RACHHHEELLLLL! Why are you putting your entire life into someone else’s hands without having a clue about what’s going on financially? Which brings me to the title of this post.

Now let’s paint this picture…

What if one day Rachel’s husband just magically decides that he no longer wants to be married? Now, I’m not saying he’s not a good man and he’s leaving her and the kids high and dry, so he will let her have the SUV and the home. He will also pay the house bills for 6 months but after that, she’s on her own. However, he will pay child support but that doesn’t cover household expenses, car note, and day-to-day necessities. What will you do Rachel, girl? Well, Rachel has to get a job or create her own. And I believe we all can learn a thing or two from Rachel. The lesson in this is to never depend on anyone to provide you with life’s necessities both male and female especially if you’re in good health and you’re able to work. Always remember it’s not about how much you make, it’s about how much you save. Rachel doesn’t have to make more than her husband but if she was building a little side hustle when things were all good, she wouldn’t be pressed to figure something out before he rips the rug from under her and the kids in 6 months. Sometimes, it takes something dramatic to happen to us in order for us to wake up and see that it’s time to make a change and you know what, that’s okay too! You can learn to build your wings on the way down just don’t get down and stay down, figure out a way you can build yourself back up. How does that look? Well, I’m glad you asked! It looks like you taking a hard look at yourself in the mirror and affirming that no matter what it may look like now, things are getting better.

Pray and ask God for guidance and to help you to remain positive while going through this.

  • Write down your goals. Things you love to do, things you’re good at doing and something you’d do for free if you had to.
  • Write down action steps next to each goal.
  • Write down an estimated deadline next to each goal.
  • Whatever money you have, only dedicate it to necessities which means you may have to sacrifice and bring your own coffee from home before you go and work on the computer at Starbucks. Pack a lunch too.

Basically, start making sacrifices and eventually while you’re persistent, you’ll see yourself knocking out each goal and when you feel yourself rising up don’t forget to invest into your F U account!

 

Where In The World Is Paris M. Hatcher?!

Long time no see! A lot has happened within the past two months personally and professionally. Let’s see! Where should I start…

I finally came up with a blog schedule. I seriously was overdoing it. One day a week I was trying my best to write at least 3 to 5 blog posts and then schedule them out so each time you’d come back and see something new. Well, that was going good until I went back to work and had to balance everything. So now, I’m trying to push out at least 1 post a week… I can do that especially since I call my notes in from my sessions and don’t have to type them up myself. Notes?! Sessions?! Some of you may or may not know this but I am a Mental Health Advocate and on average, I am counseling at least 5-7 clients per day and after each session, I have to type up a detailed note/report stating what happened during the session. I love my job but writing notes can be draining on top of trying to maintain a blog and a personal life so I invested in a note writer. I call my notes in and speak about what was accomplished during the sessions via voicemail and the note writer types up everything in a professional manner and input them into the system. It’s a fee but I’d rather have time to make more money instead of money and no time to do anything. It works for me and it’s not too expensive because if I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t have time to do much of anything let alone blog one day a week.

So let’s see, what’s next! I’ve been praying over my purpose and vision for my life. Getting on my knees to say my prayers, writing in my prayer and gratitude journal and meditating. I haven’t been as consistent as I’d like to be in the gym but that’s okay because tomorrow morning I’m going. Last week I was just really sick and couldn’t do much of anything.

Let’s see what have I learned…that I could be a people pleaser, I care way too much about other people’s feelings and I tend to put mines on the back burner. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing but when it gets in the way of your own happiness or what you want to do, it can be. So when you make a decision to do something don’t allow anyone to talk you out of it. It’s hard especially when you care about a person but sometimes you have to take the focus off them and their feelings and put it on you and be good with that! I just want everyone to be happy…is that too much to ask for?

Ummm…what else! Overall, I am very proud of myself. I’m proud of my growth in all areas of my life. I can honestly say that I’ve leveled up and stepped up with taking care of things in our home since my dad passed in 2018. Since then, I’ve doubled his monthly income and now I’m taking care of all the household bills (such an adult moment) my mom doesn’t work because she doesn’t have to. She’s good and I’m happy she’s living her life being happy and strong. She spends the majority of her time going to the thrift store, running errands, getting her nails & hair did and everything else she wants to do. I’m proud of her and I know my dad is too. She’s now accustomed to driving her car (remember I bought her a car in Nov) if you missed it, read about it here. I plan to take her on a trip before the summer is over to see family in Dallas. We just came back from visiting family in Houston about two weeks ago. Maybe in the Fall, we will hop on a flight to NYC or LA or maybe a weekend cruise. She’ll be getting her passport next month. In the meantime, read about our travels here and here.

Other than that, everything is everything! I want to start doing more videos and I will, simple as that. I may turn this site into a video blog. Let me know what you all think. I also took a social media break but I’ll be back this week. Be on the lookout for a detailed post about what happens and what I tend to do during my breaks. I briefly touched on digital detoxing here, here, and here so be sure to catch up on those posts if you haven’t already.

Until next Wednesday!!! See ya and thanks for being a loyal reader and sticking with me until I figured this out! 🙂

My Self-Care Checklist

 

I am the type of person who’s really good at checking herself, first! I can tap into my inner self and almost instantly figure out the root to my current issue. Sometimes, I’m over thinking and I’m in my own head a little too much and putting too much emphasis on something that’s not that big of a deal. When that happens, I have to check myself and my thoughts in order to be sure I’m processing things clearly before overreacting. Doing this has really helped me to maintain a positive mental state but it has helped me with being able to show up for my clients being as though my career is as Mental Health Professional.

 

Keeping a self-care checklist mentally stored for times when I’m in my head too much is very important to me. I think about what would make me feel better and have I done any of the things on the checklist that helps me to feel better. If I haven’t, I schedule it into my day to do so because knowing what’s the issue is half the battle, the other part is doing something about it.

 

Look within the mirror at yourself first. Work on you and everything on the outside will work in your favor once you start doing the inner work.

Workout- I feel amazing after a workout it makes me less fatigue and it’s something I’ve done for myself to not only look my best but to ensure that I am feeling my best as well.

 

Yoga- I started hot yoga a month ago and it’s been one of the best things I’ve done for myself. It helps me not only to maintain balance but to ensure that I am meeting the health benefits as well. Read here about the 7 Healthy Benefits Of Yoga.

 

Reading- Reading something new to me is like taking a mental vacation to a place I’ve never traveled to. I love enriching my mind with articles and books that are informative. Read here about the books that have helped shape my mindset.

 

Writing- I always love writing. When I was a little girl I use to keep a diary now as a woman, I keep a prayer journal and a gratitude journal. Writing helps me to release everything that’s in my head onto paper. For me, it’s sort of like cleaning out my closet. I lay everything out in two different piles, a keep pile and a get rid of pile. I compare writing to cleaning out your closet because of the organization. Write out the thoughts that are in your head, see it all laying there on paper then you keep the things that you’d like to “wear” (thoughts) that makes you feel good about yourself. I write out my thoughts and when I look at it all on paper, I can see exactly the thoughts I want to keep in my head, thoughts that are positive and I see the pile of thoughts I want to give away…sort of like the pile of clothes that no longer serve me and the woman I am becoming.

 

Take time away from social media- I spoke about the benefits and why I tend to go on a digital detoxing here and here. I go through a time when I really want to shake and move without updating my followers on all my moves. I love everyone who follows me and I appreciate each and every last one of you but it’s not about you all, this is strictly about me and I can’t show up for anyone if I’m not showing up for myself first. I believe one of the reasons why people follow me is for inspiration but if I feel as if I’m pouring from an empty cup and not really producing the results it looks as if I am on social media, then I’m not being true to myself and that’s one of the worst things you can do is lie to yourself.

 

Take time for myself- Sort of like digital detoxing, I take lots of time for myself. Because of how my life is currently, without kids and not married, I tend to really focus on my me time. I enjoy my own company… it’s lovely over here!

 

Met/talked with a friend- I love meeting with up with my girls just to catch up. It’s always good to pull away from work, the computer and the phone just have an intimate conversation over coffee or lunch.

 

Complimented someone- I love giving people genuine compliments. The last time I complimented a lady she started crying telling me that she needed to hear that and she also gave me a big hug. I invited her to sit down and talk with me about the things that were on her mind, she did and now we are like Soul Sisters. This happened on a random Wednesday while I was sitting down working in Starbucks. You never know what a person may be going through. Share a smile and a genuine compliment.

 

Drink at least 2 liters of water- I once wasn’t a water person at all but as I’ve gotten older, there’s no way I can’t be. There are so many health benefits to drinking water, believe me, your skin will thank you!

 

Do something fun- There are many facets of fun to me from traveling to doing something simple like going to Barnes and Noble’s and reading a business, tech or fashion magazine. Basically, learning is fun for me.

7 Healthy Benefits of Yoga

I’ve always wanted to start practicing yoga and this year I decided to invest in a month worth of hot yoga classes from Magnolia Yoga Studio here in New Orleans. So far, I’ve completed two classes without walking out, lol! The first class was 60 mins and the second was 90 mins. Honestly, the first class I felt as if I was going to fall out but I continued pushing myself to the end. I was very proud of myself for being able to focus and be my own cheerleader in my head. I kept telling myself, “You can do this P! Look around you, everyone’s pushing themselves to their maximum potential. Just keep going.” I pushed myself to do all of the poses and it felt great! I plan to do yoga at least 3 times a week along with going to the gym. Yoga is how I am practicing self-care this year. If you’re not familiar with my self–care regimen read more about it here.

Helps you to focus

An important component of yoga is focusing on the present. Studies have found that regular yoga practice improves coordination, reaction time, memory, and even IQ scores.

Joint Support

By gently taking joints ankles, knees, hips & shoulders through their range of motion, asana helps keep them strong, which researchers say may help keep you moving freely in athletic and everyday pursuits as you age.

Improves flexibility

Improved flexibility is one of the first and most obvious benefits of yoga. During your first class, you probably won’t be able to touch your toes, never mind do a backbend. But if you stick with it, you’ll notice a gradual loosening, and eventually, seemingly impossible poses will become possible. You’ll also probably notice that aches and pains start to disappear.

Increase blood flow

Yoga gets your blood flowing. More specifically, the relaxation exercises you learn in yoga can help your circulation, especially in your hands and feet. Yoga also gets more oxygen to your cells, which function better as a result. Twisting poses are thought to wring out venous blood from internal organs and allow oxygenated blood to flow in once the twist is released. Inverted poses, such as Headstand, Handstand, and Shoulderstand, encourage venous blood from the legs and pelvis to flow back to the heart, where it can be pumped to the lungs to be freshly oxygenated.

Improves your balance

Regularly practicing yoga increases proprioception (the ability to feel what your body is doing and where it is in space) and improves balance. People with bad posture or dysfunctional movement patterns usually have poor proprioception, which has been linked to knee problems and back pain.

Helps you to sleep deeper

Yoga can provide relief from the hustle and bustle of modern life. Restorative asana, yoga nidra (a form of guided relaxation), Savasana, pranayama, and meditation encourage pratyahara, a turning inward of the senses, which provides downtime for the nervous system.

Gives you peace of mind

Yoga slows down the mental loops of frustration, regret, anger, fear, and desire that can cause stress. And since stress is implicated in so many health problems from migraines and insomnia to lupus, MS, eczema, high blood pressure, and heart attacks if you learn to quiet your mind, you’ll be likely to live longer and healthier.

Self Care Consists Of Doing The Inner Work

I speak a lot about self-care on the outside read more about it here, but it’s so much more than that. Self-care also consists of the inner work such as forgiveness, healing, and the ability to move on.

For as long as we live, nothing will be forever. We won’t be on this earth forever, marriages/relationships at times don’t last forever, and sometimes, the friendships we thought we’d always have aren’t forever. All of this is apart of life. It’s all apart of our life journey because that’s exactly what life is, a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed through trial and error. Experience is the best teacher and making self -care inner work a priority will help you along your healing journey so let’s discuss what the inner work looks like:

Praying for the person who hurt you or you might have hurt.

Being grateful you made the decision to go after better.

Reading, healing, sending love and light when you think of that person.

Forgiving yourself as well as him or her.

Being transparent without giving full details (especially when you’re not fully healed)

Being BOLD! (Doing something for you. Something that’ll make you better such as starting a business or taking a class)

Inner Work: Forgiveness

Forgive yourself all the chances you’ve given someone to show you better.

Forgive yourself for all the times you believed a person changed for the better.

Forgive yourself for holding onto something or someone that you knew wasn’t good for you or didn’t meet your standard of living.

Don’t allow bitterness and hurt to overshadow the love you have within you.

Forgive yourself  for your actions and the role you played in the situation.

Now, walk in your healing.

Speaking With Your Partner About Self-Care

If you’re in a relationship, you should speak with your partner about self-care. As women, we are such nurturers to the point where we can do everything for everyone else but when it comes to us, we tend to put our priorities and goals on the back burner. At times, we believe that we have to be everything to everybody all at once and let’s just sit back for a minute and think about how that’s just not humanly possible at all without feeling burnt out, tired or drained. If you find yourself doing this, how about stopping and taking the time to process your thoughts and focus on self-care. Self Care looks different for everyone. For you, it could be taking a 30-minute bubble bath with a glass of wine and a good book or taking the time to write in your journal and process your thoughts away from everyone else. No matter what it looks like, focus on factoring it into your life. Find out here some of the things I do to practice self -care.

I am currently in my 30’s and I know life happens to all of us but when the time comes for me to have kids and get married, self-care will remain apart of my lifestyle. Now I know as a mother my lifestyle will completely change but I don’t see myself letting myself go because I’m now a wife and a mother. Of course, my self- care will look very different by that time but I will not allow things to get in the way of it. I will speak with my partner about my needs and I see us working together as a team to ensure we’re both good as individuals and then as husband and wife and as parents. I believe it’s all about proper communication as well as being with someone who wants you to be happy and someone who takes into account that self-care is important to you. I know women who are wives and mothers and they feel as if they’re losing themselves because they no long factor self-care into their lifestyle. They’re feeling as if they don’t have the time or they feel guilty for taking 30 minutes to an hour to themselves. Personally, I would like for this to stop!!! Think about it, who were you before you were married and had children? I believe your children and husband need to see a happy and loving woman who takes care of herself and fills herself up by taking the time to put into herself. That’s why speaking with your partner about the importance of self-care is so important.

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Furthermore, I am currently in a long distance relationship which consists of lots of phone calls, text messages, and facetime chats but my partner respects my me time. It was something I laid out early while we were just friends. At times I can’t spend all night on facetime because I have to spend time with God, work on my businesses, write out a blog post or anything else I deem to be important. I may not reply to his text message immediately because my phone is on silent and I’m working in another room. Phone calls too early in the morning before I get my zen together doesn’t always get answered because (sorry, not sorry bae) at times I just need to meditate, cook breakfast turn on a good word and then chat with him. It’s not his fault if I was to answer and have an attitude, it’s mines because I shouldn’t put anything before my morning self-care routine. I believe as long as you speak with your partner about the significance of self-care, all should be well but if it isn’t, NEVER allow anyone to make you feel as if what you’re doing for you can wait. NO! It doesn’t work like that. That’s not fair to you. What you’re doing for you is a priority and you need to fill your own cup up FIRST before you can feel up someone else’s cup. You can’t be good to anyone if you’re not good to yourself, first! Imagine how good you’d feel when you accomplish the things you’ve set out for yourself to do for that day and then when someone asks for your help with something, doing it for them would feel even better because you’ve already taken care of your own priorities. Speak to your partner about self -care and start scheduling ME TIME on your planner. Everyone and everything else gets put on the to-do list, why not yourself?

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How I Practice Self Care

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that self-care is very important to me. Self-care isn’t a selfish act. It’s just you simply putting into yourself. As women, we tend to put so much into others before ourselves: children, careers, husbands, in-laws, friends, etc but where does self-care fit in? Think about it, if you’re no good to you, how could you be good to others and the obligations we have? You have to take care of you, first, if not, you’ll get burnt out and sometimes that leads to other health issues. Sort of like filling up your own cup and allowing the rest to overflow to others.  Let’s stop making excuses and saying that we don’t have time, but in all actuality, we make time for the things we find important. Shouldn’t self-care be one of those things? Start by implementing at least two things into your self-care regimen and then add more as you grow and get to know yourself.

Here are a few things I do for self-care:

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Digital Detoxing

Taking a social media break can be hard if you run your business solely based on social media but I find it necessary for your mental health. This year, I took two months off from social media by deleting the Instagram app and it was one of the best things I could’ve ever done for myself. Two years ago I took a month off, catch up on that here. This year I didn’t post on social from July 2- Sep 2. During that time, I was focused on getting this blog back up and running. I traveled to DC with my mom and a women’s retreat. Check out both trips here and here. I worked out. I read books and I spent time with family without pulling out my phone. I was very intentional about being present.

Treat yourself to something

Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to spend a lot of money on yourself to feel good about yourself. One of the things that I do to treat myself is, I purchase flowers for myself along with sushi bowls. I purchase flowers from a local grocery store and there’s usually a sale 3 for $12 and the sushi bowl are usually $10. I love to wake up and see fresh flowers in my room, living room, and kitchen. I also love sushi so purchasing an entire bowl puts a smile on my face.

Fitness

Working out is so important for your health. It’s not about just looking good on the outside but feeling good as well. I have a gym membership and I do my best to work out at least 4-5 days a week. I wasn’t always this person who would go to the gym but once I started noticing the change in my body, how much energy I had during the day and how focused it made me. I added it to my self-care regimen.

Meditate

As cliché’ as it may sound, mediating is very important to maintain self-care. Nearly every successful person talks about how they’ve implemented meditation into their lifestyle. I tend to enjoy meditating in the morning before I get out of bed. I like to center my thoughts and be still for about 10 minutes. During this time, my phone is on silent and I’m focusing on my breathing. I have two apps on my phone that helps me with meditation which is Headspace (LINK) and Insight Timer (LINK)

Read

If there’s something you want to create, you have to research. Reading falls in line with self-care because you’re actually investing the time and knowledge to create something. You’re taking the necessary steps now to care for your future. I tend to read different genres from self-help to business. I am a big fan of audible books and podcasts.

Manicures + Pedicures

I’ve been doing my own manicures and pedicures since 2009. I haven’t worn false nails since then because I just wanted to take care of my natural nails. I care about the look of my hands and I noticed my nail bed was becoming extremely weak because of the constant drilling and filing. I made the decision to just stop, cold turkey and paint my nails myself. Over the years, I’ve collected lots of different nail polishes and now I treat myself to a new mani at least once or twice a week. It saves me money and time and my nails come out really nice if not better than the nail salon. I love to pamper myself so doing my nails allows me that time to put into myself.

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