How To Have A Healthy Mind

Have you ever noticed that you feel different after you listen to your favorite song or motivational audio? What we listen to during the day can have a positive or negative effect on our moods. However, if I’m being honest, who we follow on social media and what we allow ourselves to take in from our “favorite Instagram pages” has an effect on us as well. It’s very important to be mindful of what you’re allowing in your mental space. Start being intentional about everything especially with what you’re feeding your mind. Be very careful of the story you’re telling yourself about certain situations and lastly, do your best not to overwhelm yourself with scenarios that won’t matter 5 days from now.

Always remember that the enemy has a way of easing us into thinking negatively and before you know it, you’re in a full-blown argument and you have no idea how all of it started. 9 times out of 10, it’s because we have allowed something or someone to get into our head and then we’re left to put the broken pieces together and maybe have to apologize. Just be careful! There’s a spiritual warfare going on all around us that we can’t see with the natural eye so the next time someone says something to you that you deem to be blatantly absurd just remember Ephesians 6:12

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Focusing on having a healthy mind is very important if you’re going to live in the world today. Keep yourself vibrating high. Release all negative energy by journaling, meditating, going for a walk, being with people who bring you joy but mainly, by praying and asking your God to protect your mind, body, and soul.

Be Blessed!

Where In The World Is Paris M. Hatcher?!

Long time no see! A lot has happened within the past two months personally and professionally. Let’s see! Where should I start…

I finally came up with a blog schedule. I seriously was overdoing it. One day a week I was trying my best to write at least 3 to 5 blog posts and then schedule them out so each time you’d come back and see something new. Well, that was going good until I went back to work and had to balance everything. So now, I’m trying to push out at least 1 post a week… I can do that especially since I call my notes in from my sessions and don’t have to type them up myself. Notes?! Sessions?! Some of you may or may not know this but I am a Mental Health Advocate and on average, I am counseling at least 5-7 clients per day and after each session, I have to type up a detailed note/report stating what happened during the session. I love my job but writing notes can be draining on top of trying to maintain a blog and a personal life so I invested in a note writer. I call my notes in and speak about what was accomplished during the sessions via voicemail and the note writer types up everything in a professional manner and input them into the system. It’s a fee but I’d rather have time to make more money instead of money and no time to do anything. It works for me and it’s not too expensive because if I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t have time to do much of anything let alone blog one day a week.

So let’s see, what’s next! I’ve been praying over my purpose and vision for my life. Getting on my knees to say my prayers, writing in my prayer and gratitude journal and meditating. I haven’t been as consistent as I’d like to be in the gym but that’s okay because tomorrow morning I’m going. Last week I was just really sick and couldn’t do much of anything.

Let’s see what have I learned…that I could be a people pleaser, I care way too much about other people’s feelings and I tend to put mines on the back burner. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing but when it gets in the way of your own happiness or what you want to do, it can be. So when you make a decision to do something don’t allow anyone to talk you out of it. It’s hard especially when you care about a person but sometimes you have to take the focus off them and their feelings and put it on you and be good with that! I just want everyone to be happy…is that too much to ask for?

Ummm…what else! Overall, I am very proud of myself. I’m proud of my growth in all areas of my life. I can honestly say that I’ve leveled up and stepped up with taking care of things in our home since my dad passed in 2018. Since then, I’ve doubled his monthly income and now I’m taking care of all the household bills (such an adult moment) my mom doesn’t work because she doesn’t have to. She’s good and I’m happy she’s living her life being happy and strong. She spends the majority of her time going to the thrift store, running errands, getting her nails & hair did and everything else she wants to do. I’m proud of her and I know my dad is too. She’s now accustomed to driving her car (remember I bought her a car in Nov) if you missed it, read about it here. I plan to take her on a trip before the summer is over to see family in Dallas. We just came back from visiting family in Houston about two weeks ago. Maybe in the Fall, we will hop on a flight to NYC or LA or maybe a weekend cruise. She’ll be getting her passport next month. In the meantime, read about our travels here and here.

Other than that, everything is everything! I want to start doing more videos and I will, simple as that. I may turn this site into a video blog. Let me know what you all think. I also took a social media break but I’ll be back this week. Be on the lookout for a detailed post about what happens and what I tend to do during my breaks. I briefly touched on digital detoxing here, here, and here so be sure to catch up on those posts if you haven’t already.

Until next Wednesday!!! See ya and thanks for being a loyal reader and sticking with me until I figured this out! 🙂

My Self-Care Checklist

 

I am the type of person who’s really good at checking herself, first! I can tap into my inner self and almost instantly figure out the root to my current issue. Sometimes, I’m over thinking and I’m in my own head a little too much and putting too much emphasis on something that’s not that big of a deal. When that happens, I have to check myself and my thoughts in order to be sure I’m processing things clearly before overreacting. Doing this has really helped me to maintain a positive mental state but it has helped me with being able to show up for my clients being as though my career is as Mental Health Professional.

 

Keeping a self-care checklist mentally stored for times when I’m in my head too much is very important to me. I think about what would make me feel better and have I done any of the things on the checklist that helps me to feel better. If I haven’t, I schedule it into my day to do so because knowing what’s the issue is half the battle, the other part is doing something about it.

 

Look within the mirror at yourself first. Work on you and everything on the outside will work in your favor once you start doing the inner work.

Workout- I feel amazing after a workout it makes me less fatigue and it’s something I’ve done for myself to not only look my best but to ensure that I am feeling my best as well.

 

Yoga- I started hot yoga a month ago and it’s been one of the best things I’ve done for myself. It helps me not only to maintain balance but to ensure that I am meeting the health benefits as well. Read here about the 7 Healthy Benefits Of Yoga.

 

Reading- Reading something new to me is like taking a mental vacation to a place I’ve never traveled to. I love enriching my mind with articles and books that are informative. Read here about the books that have helped shape my mindset.

 

Writing- I always love writing. When I was a little girl I use to keep a diary now as a woman, I keep a prayer journal and a gratitude journal. Writing helps me to release everything that’s in my head onto paper. For me, it’s sort of like cleaning out my closet. I lay everything out in two different piles, a keep pile and a get rid of pile. I compare writing to cleaning out your closet because of the organization. Write out the thoughts that are in your head, see it all laying there on paper then you keep the things that you’d like to “wear” (thoughts) that makes you feel good about yourself. I write out my thoughts and when I look at it all on paper, I can see exactly the thoughts I want to keep in my head, thoughts that are positive and I see the pile of thoughts I want to give away…sort of like the pile of clothes that no longer serve me and the woman I am becoming.

 

Take time away from social media- I spoke about the benefits and why I tend to go on a digital detoxing here and here. I go through a time when I really want to shake and move without updating my followers on all my moves. I love everyone who follows me and I appreciate each and every last one of you but it’s not about you all, this is strictly about me and I can’t show up for anyone if I’m not showing up for myself first. I believe one of the reasons why people follow me is for inspiration but if I feel as if I’m pouring from an empty cup and not really producing the results it looks as if I am on social media, then I’m not being true to myself and that’s one of the worst things you can do is lie to yourself.

 

Take time for myself- Sort of like digital detoxing, I take lots of time for myself. Because of how my life is currently, without kids and not married, I tend to really focus on my me time. I enjoy my own company… it’s lovely over here!

 

Met/talked with a friend- I love meeting with up with my girls just to catch up. It’s always good to pull away from work, the computer and the phone just have an intimate conversation over coffee or lunch.

 

Complimented someone- I love giving people genuine compliments. The last time I complimented a lady she started crying telling me that she needed to hear that and she also gave me a big hug. I invited her to sit down and talk with me about the things that were on her mind, she did and now we are like Soul Sisters. This happened on a random Wednesday while I was sitting down working in Starbucks. You never know what a person may be going through. Share a smile and a genuine compliment.

 

Drink at least 2 liters of water- I once wasn’t a water person at all but as I’ve gotten older, there’s no way I can’t be. There are so many health benefits to drinking water, believe me, your skin will thank you!

 

Do something fun- There are many facets of fun to me from traveling to doing something simple like going to Barnes and Noble’s and reading a business, tech or fashion magazine. Basically, learning is fun for me.

How Focusing On Gratitude Can Help With Anxiety

Focusing on gratitude can really help you with Anxiety. As a Mental Health Professional, I tend to start off most sessions by asking the client to speak with me about the positive things that have happened within their week. I do this for several reasons but mainly so I can get them to focus on the positive things rather than putting so much energy on things that are negative and things they can’t control. Stopping to reflect and thinking about positive things allows you to be grateful within that moment. When we’re telling someone about our day, and we start off with the things that are negative, we’re not allowing ourselves the space in our minds to focus on anything that’s positive.

Before speaking with my clients about their mindset and gratitude, I typically do a few things within myself to test it out to see if it works for me as well. As many of you may know, I keep a prayer journal but in addition to that journal, I also have a gratitude journal. Just about every morning or sometime throughout my day, I take time to write in my gratitude journal. Listing things that I am grateful for helps me to stay in the flow of gratitude and it also helps with managing anxious thoughts.

Journaling on the beach in Los Angeles, California.

“Our anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but wanting to control it” -Khalil Gibran

Think about it, we tend to want things to go a certain way and that’s normal because we are human but when we put so much pressure on ourselves is when we begin to develop anxious thoughts. Depending on how deeply we imagine the scenario we have conjured up in our minds is when we start to experience severe anxiety.

Let’s all learn to be grateful for moments whether big or small, for time spent doing what you enjoy and for the ability to create moments with those who you love. We may not have it all but I’m sure you and I can take a look at our lives and see at least 3 things that we are grateful for that we probably didn’t have 6 months ago. You have to give yourself grace. You have to give yourself time to grow. Learn to be gentle with yourself because you’re doing the very best that you can.

 

How I Had To Mentally Prepare Myself In Order To Embrace Bali.

I went to Bali!!!!! No! I’ll say it again because I don’t think you understand my excitement!!

I…WENT…TO…BALI!!!!!!!!!!

Ok! Now that I got that out the way, let me tell you all about my trip to Bali from the beginning.

   On Dec 6th, I traveled to Los Angeles to meet with my boyfriend so he and I could fly out to Bali together but let’s fast forward to my mental state prior to going there. Initially, I couldn’t get excited about going to Bali to celebrate my birthday because I was thinking about my dad so much. I was in a very sad space for about a week, crying every day just thinking about celebrating a birthday without him being here physically, something I haven’t had to do in 31 years. I was doing my best to “push through” sorta speak and to be honest, I didn’t get excited about the trip until the night before I flew out to Los Angeles. I sat on the floor and cried so hard on Facetime with my boyfriend while I shared everything that laid heavy on my heart. He reminded me of how loved I am by my father, him, and everyone else. He helped me to see that I am actually going to be traveling soon, something I love to do and something my dad always enjoyed watching me do along with living life and being happy. Afterward, I watched one of my favorite movies: Eat, Pray, Love while eating pizza and it made me feel so much better. I had to get my mind right about my blessings. I embraced the fact that I had and still do have a loving father. I embraced that at this moment, I am watching one of my favorite movies and within the next two days, I’ll be in the exact place where the love portion of this movie was filmed. I embraced the fact that I now have a special person in my life who would do anything to make my heart smile like surprising me by booking a birthday celebration to one of my dream places and a place that’s on my vision board, Bali!!! I embraced all of it, traveled to Bali, and had the time of my life!!!!!!

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

It was a mental process accepting the fact that I am celebrating a birthday without my dad here for the first time in my life but being in Bali and with my lover made my birthday so special. Bali was BEAUTIFUL! I have never been on a more perfect vacation, seriously!! From the smallest things like flying with my boyfriend for the first time on a 15 hour flight to China then 5 hours to Bali. To the largest things such as: riding an elephant, sea walking, parasailing, and bike riding to the beach to have lunch. I was just so happy the entire time while we were there. I knew I needed this getaway. I knew my dad wouldn’t want me to be home crying on my birthday. I knew that weeping may endure for a night but JOY will always come in the morning!!!! I knew it and it did!!!!!!

Thank you, GOD! 

Thank you, Daddy, and Thank you, Lover!!!!

Reshift Your Focus

Focusing on the positivity is so important especially when it comes to your mental health. Nowadays with us having a sneak peek into other people’s lives on social media, we can start to get into the comparison game. Read here about perception vs reality. I’m here to tell you that doing so isn’t healthy and it can have your mind twisted up thinking as if you’re not doing anything or you don’t have much going on compared to others. Remember comparison is the thief of joy!!!

When you’re feeling down, write down a list of things to help yourself to feel better. Start with this list below.

Beach + Journaling LA

When you’re writing, dream big and don’t limit yourself. Write as if you’re writing to your future self. So, make your future self-proud and be honest with yourself about whatever it is that you REALLY want.

    Your Dreams

  • Life Goals
  • What you’ll be doing in the next few years
  • Skills you’d like to learn
  • Where you’d like to live
  • Places you’d like to travel to
  • What will you be doing in the next few years?

      Your Favorite Things

  • Books
  • TV Shows
  • Food
  • Music
  • Podcasts
  • Quotes
  • Songs

      You

  • Favorite Memories
  • Bucket list for things you’d like to do
  • Things that make you happy
  • What you like most about yourself
  • Positive adjectives to describe yourself

Your Accomplishments

  • Things you’re grateful for
  • All things you’re good at
  • Ways to celebrate your wins
  • Biggest accomplishments

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7 Things You Can Do Right Now To Help With Managing Anxiety

Journaling– Getting your anxious thoughts out of your mind and onto paper can really help you with reducing your feelings. Journaling is an intimate time for you to express yourself. I always say, be honest with yourself as you’re journaling. If you’re sad, say you’re sad. If you’re frustrated, say that. You’re doing this for your future self, that way when you go back and read later you can see how you overcame the anxiety. Never hide your feelings from yourself because you feel as if someone may read your journal. It’s YOUR journal. You’re human and you’re allowed to feel and process your emotions in a healthy way.

Support– Always have a support group you can reach out to. Create a list. Don’t use social media as an outlet to vent. It’s just not healthy. Also, remember that it’s okay to seek a therapist as well.

Self-Care– Taking care of yourself is an important skill to help with managing anxiety. Self-care looks differently for everyone but it’s important for you to know what works for you. Read here about how I practice self-care and read here about why it’s important to speak with your partner about self-care.

Sleep– In this day and age where people are bragging on “team no sleep” I am here to tell you that sleeping is essential if you want to manage your anxiety. If you choose to operate without sleeping and on an excessive amount of coffee, you’re not making wise decisions and it’s just not healthy. You can’t be productive and operate at your truest potential if you’re tired and frustrated from lack of sleep. It’s just not humanly possible. YOU NEED SLEEP. A study shows that at least 6-8 hours of rest helps with managing stress and anxiety. So put the phone down, relax your body and fall into a deep sleep.

Exercise– Whenever you’re feeling anxious try to take a walk to process your thoughts. Going for a run or going to the gym are both beneficial. Physical exercise can really help you with coping with stress and anxiety and another benefit to being active is not only feeling good but looking good as well.

Breathing– Practicing breathing exercises can help you with slowing down your anxious thoughts. Think about it, our minds are similar to computers with so many different tabs open. Focusing on breathing and sitting still while processing your thoughts can really help you to think more clearly.

Listen– What you choose to listen to can determine your mood. Think about it, if you’re listening to a podcast about ways to invest, you’ll start to think more about ways you can save and invest but if you’re listening to something negative 9 times out of 10, you’ll begin to dwell on negativity. That’s just how the brain works. Always be conscious as to what you’re listening to especially when you’re feeling anxious.

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Mental Health Awareness

    I am so excited because we’re FINALLY having the conversation about mental health just about everyone’s talking about it from celebrities to your everyday people are speaking out about their struggles and how they’re seeking help but there are still more people who are suffering in silence and I just would like to share what I’ve learned as a mental health professional working in the field for a few years and doing my own research. What I do know to be true is: Everyone will experience anxiety from time to time. The demands and stress of life may even cause experiencing anxiety more frequent. If you’re struggling with overwhelming anxiety and you can relate to some of the questions and answers below, don’t hesitate to seek help. First, know that you’re not alone. About 40 million adults in America have an anxiety disorder. Secondly, anxiety disorders are treatable. In fact, they’re one of the most treatable conditions of all emotional disorders.

 

What are the different types of emotional disorders?

  • anxiety disorders;
  • bipolar disorder (sometimes called manic-depression);
  • conduct disorders;
  • eating disorders;
  • obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD); and.
  • psychotic disorders.

What are the symptoms of emotional disorders?

  • Feeling sad or down.
  • Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate.
  • Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt.
  • Extreme mood changes of highs and lows.
  • Withdrawal from friends and activities.
  • Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping.

What are the 5 major categories of mental disorders?

  • Anxiety disorders.
  • Mood disorders.
  • Schizophrenia and psychotic disorders.
  • Dementia.
  • Eating disorders.

What are the most common mental disorders?

Anxiety disorders, next to depression, are among the most common mental health disorders in young people. This can include phobias, panic disorder, social anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Is stress a mental health problem?

Stress can cause mental health problems, and make existing problems worse. For example, if you often struggle to manage feelings of stress, you might develop a mental health problem like anxiety or depression. Mental health problems can cause stress.

What is the difference between stress and anxiety?

Everyone experiences stress and anxiety at one time or another. The difference between them is that stress is a response to a threat in a situation. Anxiety is a reaction to stress.

 

Stay tuned for more Q& A’s I’ll be sure to share a lot more. Although we’re finally having the conversation, it doesn’t mean others aren’t suffering in silence. This is apart of my website that’s very near and dear to my heart so I’ll share here what I know and places I know of personally where you can receive help from people who care.

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