I was born and raised in the church under the same pastor since I was born but I started to attend church consistently on my own maybe in 2007. I was in my sophomore year in college and I wanted to know more about God. I was digging deeper at this time. Fast forward to now and I am in the stage of unlearning but still learning as a person who desires to know more about God, I do believe I’ll always be in the stage of learning as long as I am open to learning. Some things I was taught I now realize that it wasn’t the truth such as questioning God. I was taught that I shouldn’t question God…but this is what I believe. (Not saying I was taught this from my pastor because he’s an amazing man of God. If he wasn’t, I would’ve left from under his teachings as an adult)
I do believe that I am the daughter of the most high God. I do believe I am a Goddess, and I do believe that it’s okay to question God. I am his daughter, why can’t I ask him why something happened, why this or why that? So what if I ask him what’s his will for my life, isn’t that questioning him? Or maybe that’s a “safe” question. But when I ask God questions about gun reform and climate control, I am doing the same. I am not asking questions to try to test God; I am simply asking to know Him and His heart for humanity more deeply. As my relationship with God grows, I no longer believe that I can’t question him. How would I understand something if I don’t ask questions? As I study his word for myself, I realize some of the things I’ve been taught was taught to people who taught them and who taught them so who knows that person’s level of understanding/knowledge of God. What I know to be true is, God is big enough for all of our questions and even our doubts. So right now, I am unlearning some stuff while learning new things.
So far this is what I know to be true!
Religion gives you a false sense of reality and it keeps you within a box. It keeps you feeling like you can’t be wealthy, that having confidence and being proud of yourself is considered boastful, and that you should hide your imperfections. I now know that that’s just not who I was created to be. I wasn’t created to believe that I can’t attain wealth. It’s in the Bible (Deuteronomy 8:18) God gives us the ability to create wealth. But, I won’t lie, I feel as if I was taught or allowed society to make me believe that having wealth is considered greed and people who are wealthy aren’t good people. I can’t say I 100% agree with that. Another thing, I wasn’t created to do was dim the light that shines on the inside and radiates on the outside because I now know that confidence comes from God. I wasn’t created to walk a straight line and to be this “perfect person.” Jesus was the only perfect human and he died on the cross for our sins. Therefore, we are forgiven. In addition to that, I won’t hide my struggles or imperfections because of fear but what I will do is continue to grow in all areas of my life and if that means questioning God and seeking him for answers, well that’s what I will do. Truth be told, God wants dialogue with us. Search for yourself what you need to unlearn and learn so you can go higher and build a deeper relationship with God.
Here are the women’s study bibles I own: The first and second is the same bible just different covers and prices.